Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
