sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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