Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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