yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
