So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
