I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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