Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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