nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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