whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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