Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
nutella sex= disaster
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
