I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
