Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
