you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
