She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
