i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
