End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
