If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
