You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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