Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
