I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All the doctor said was why
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
