he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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