We're facebook friends in real life
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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