i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
