Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
His nipple licking is glorious
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