Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who died my cat blue again?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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