I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
