Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
