The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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