i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
