haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
