def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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