imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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