i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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