I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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