I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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