corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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