I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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