i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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