Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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