Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
