Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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