Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
