I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
