And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize