stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
