she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
