We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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