I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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