I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He has the fingertips of a God
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
