Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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