but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
