So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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