Cold hands, warm shart.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
