he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
