im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
