Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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  (301): Is it necrophilia if we're both dead? http://tfl.nu/6pje
  Replies (6) Good night (738) Bad night (1061)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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  (352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x
  Replies (18) Good night (761) Bad night (2553)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...

  (404): View more from Georgia

  In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)

  (678): View more from Georgia

  cunt.

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  (678): So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile... (404): In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;) (678): cunt. http://tfl.nu/sbha
  Replies (58) Good night (2950) Bad night (972)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry

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  (484): Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry http://tfl.nu/lyzu
  Replies (127) Good night (5182) Bad night (1114)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins

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  (303): then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins http://tfl.nu/bn73
  Replies (68) Good night (6108) Bad night (732)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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  (845): I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach. http://tfl.nu/7dp2
  Replies (34) Good night (1348) Bad night (5198)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.

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  (616): somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult. http://tfl.nu/q2ig
  Replies (25) Good night (3758) Bad night (2478)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day

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  (973): What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day http://tfl.nu/bp9q
  Replies (36) Good night (6212) Bad night (1249)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

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  (513): Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through. http://tfl.nu/9dxn
  Replies (3) Good night (874) Bad night (1730)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.

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  (+44): We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it. http://tfl.nu/ow31
  Replies (1) Good night (1079) Bad night (653)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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  (617): A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously http://tfl.nu/7jfj
  Replies (4) Good night (2673) Bad night (554)
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  (365): View more from

  As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

  (1-365): View more from

  I was judging you.

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  (365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over. (1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin
  Replies (3) Good night (3148) Bad night (513)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

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  (209): I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/devk
  Replies (11) Good night (2177) Bad night (568)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.

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  (434): Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them. http://tfl.nu/1lvf
  Replies (19) Good night (1555) Bad night (540)
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  (626): View more from California

  Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?

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  (626): Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child? http://tfl.nu/0p9q
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (261)

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