I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it