Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?