I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy