Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have. http://tfl.nu/x1lg
  Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (2141)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i'm saving my butt for my wedding night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i'm saving my butt for my wedding night http://tfl.nu/fqx0
  Replies (53) Good night (4342) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (1151) Bad night (5616)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad. http://tfl.nu/jkuj
  Replies (9) Good night (783) Bad night (3852)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing. http://tfl.nu/4f2e
  Replies (9) Good night (4641) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store http://tfl.nu/shho
  Replies (12) Good night (3900) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs. http://tfl.nu/y8sy
  Replies (23) Good night (2320) Bad night (4586)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/6bmb
  Replies (28) Good night (5489) Bad night (2472)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M. http://tfl.nu/1ch5
  Replies (2) Good night (1677) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1140) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it h http://tfl.nu/rzj1
  Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (1929)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic. http://tfl.nu/b3rt
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart. http://tfl.nu/zh66
  Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks http://tfl.nu/ndt4
  Replies (10) Good night (875) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him? http://tfl.nu/xuqr
  Replies (3) Good night (1059) Bad night (208)

Randomize