Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (1328)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

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  (817): Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house. (405): Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box. (817): I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift. http://tfl.nu/erp5
  Replies (103) Good night (1410) Bad night (2892)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them

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  (508): just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them http://tfl.nu/j2g6
  Replies (10) Good night (4028) Bad night (721)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My mom found a condom in my purse

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

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  (513): My mom found a condom in my purse (513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse. http://tfl.nu/gxhf
  Replies (47) Good night (779) Bad night (4863)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.

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  (504): I think horse shit smells the best of all shits. http://tfl.nu/6fku
  Replies (35) Good night (1090) Bad night (2908)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.

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  (985): I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me. http://tfl.nu/zadb
  Replies (11) Good night (4185) Bad night (706)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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  (908): Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won http://tfl.nu/nhsb
  Replies (208) Good night (2278) Bad night (4301)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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  (262): This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year" http://tfl.nu/hf6v
  Replies (9) Good night (1280) Bad night (6409)
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  (562): View more from California

  Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas

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  (562): Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas http://tfl.nu/zcne
  Replies (7) Good night (2958) Bad night (927)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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  (269): P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema. http://tfl.nu/a51s
  Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (1417)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage

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  (952): Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage http://tfl.nu/dzdl
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (1340)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (2989) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates

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  (561): I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates http://tfl.nu/pbgm
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (313)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you just miss his friendship.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.

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  (404): I think you just miss his friendship. (1-404): I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms. http://tfl.nu/chz3
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?

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  (440): You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off? http://tfl.nu/y1qy
  Replies (1) Good night (184) Bad night (515)

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