She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
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There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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