I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake