Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

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  (773): I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it http://tfl.nu/d3ej
  Replies (2) Good night (1983) Bad night (819)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (604) Bad night (1330)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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  (703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o
  Replies (61) Good night (4493) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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  (740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/zgkj
  Replies (33) Good night (9056) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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  (205): Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook http://tfl.nu/0mxm
  Replies (24) Good night (3762) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"

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  (641): and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger" http://tfl.nu/o631
  Replies (20) Good night (5604) Bad night (1842)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.

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  (610): Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/94uz
  Replies (39) Good night (6019) Bad night (2878)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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  (513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7
  Replies (22) Good night (1719) Bad night (7207)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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  (214): i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night. http://tfl.nu/pbft
  Replies (12) Good night (1008) Bad night (7809)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.

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  (541): You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night. http://tfl.nu/2m2y
  Replies (6) Good night (4460) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (4106) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.

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  (310): I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE. http://tfl.nu/riqc
  Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

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  (702): there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya... http://tfl.nu/edke
  Replies (6) Good night (560) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.

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  (801): I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future. http://tfl.nu/z13j
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (140)

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