I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
