Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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