Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize