you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Found your dick twin last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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