were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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