How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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