She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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