I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
