just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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