I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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