Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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