I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
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THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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