ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
