I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
