The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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